All I am is a phrase from a song...

Don't I look stuffed or Hungry? Or "myspaceish" at the least!


First of all I have to note that this is the first time that I have been hungry in a week. The holiday has kept me with a constant realm of food in my mouth and belly. I truly am a blessed person.

Believe it or not I have had many emotions lately other than stuffed. Is stuffed an actual emotion? Well, it became one for me. Emotions involving love, life, future, insecurities, God, and such. But all of it is perfectly summed up in song phrases. So, to introduce myself to this new bloggers world, I will show you how all I am is a phrase from a song.

"Own me, take all that I am, and heal me with the blood of the lamb, mold me, by your gracious hand, break me til' i'm only yours... own me."
-This song, "Own Me" from Ginny Owens describes my constant battle to give it up to the Lord. I am constantly in a fight to not seek my own will but God's. When I do seek my own will it is not good! Which brings me to my next song.




"I fear I have nothing to give, I have so much to loose here in this lonely place, tangled up in your embrace, there's nothing I'd like better than to fall."
-Sarah McLachlan "Fear"
My anger and heart ache from a loveless lover caused me to become lonelier than I have ever been. This caused me to go for a guy I thought I could like and maybe I could, but God has been telling me for a while that He wants me to figure some things out about myself before attaching myself to someone else. I listened to Him at first, but then I started to feel as John Mayer explains in his song "Love Song For No one"
"Staying home alone on a Friday flat on the floor looking back on old love, or lack there of, after all my crushes have faded and all my wishful thinking was wrong, I'm jaded, I hate it! I'm tired of being alone so hurry up and get here."
With that being my major feelings I hastily sought after my own will and grabbed up the first guy I could. But now, every time he holds me, or calls me, or asks me out, I feel as stated above by Sarah M. like I have nothing to give and everything to loose, and all I want to do is fall. Is it him? Or is it me? And how do I get myself out of this?
"I am the only one to blame for this, somehow it all ends up the same, soaring on the wings of selfish pride, I flew too high and like Icarus I collide with a world I've tried so hard to leave behind. But can I be the one to sacrifice? Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow?... take my world apart."
"World's Apart" by Jars of Clay.
"I get turned around, and I mistake my happiness for blessings. I'm blessed as the poor, but still I judge success by how I'm dressing. So keep on coming these lines on the road and keep me responsible be it a light or heavy load, keep on coming these blessings in disguise for I walk by grace my feet and faith my eyes."
-Caedmon's Call "Faith In Me."
With all of this confusion and emotion I get so overwhelmed that I become exactly as stated in Pink Floyd's song "Comfortably Numb"
"There is no pain you are receding a distant ship, smoke on the horizon.You are only coming through in waves.Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying. When I was a child I had a fever My hands felt just like two balloons. Now I've got that feeling once again I can't explain you would not understand this is not how I am. I have become comfortably numb."
To get myself back in order and pump myself up I remember the lyrics from The Dave Matthews Band Song "Dancing Nancies"
" The clouds may hang on me sometimes but I will get out. Then I look up at the sky, my mouth open wide lick and taste what's the use in worrying? What's the use in hurrying?"
Isn't that truth? We get over it all, we get out of the clouds that hang on us, and become a better us, what's the use in worrying? What would life be without trials? Or better yet, what would I be without trials?